During most of that time, I taught two weekly yoga classes. It cost me more money to commute into the city than I earned from those classes. On a number of occasions, nobody showed up. On most occasions, there were 2-3 students. On rare occasions, I would have a group large enough to create a momentum for class.
While I made some money doing other things, I put my attention and energy behind building momentum for yogahour in NYC. After a few months, I decided it was not worth pursuing further. When it came time to cancel my classes, I did so without hesitation. And I felt relief.
However, something else happened. When I announced that I would be teaching my last classes, I felt the pangs of sadness... the feeling that I would actually miss teaching these classes. When I look objectively at the situation, there was nothing promising about continuing to teach these classes... it felt like trying to save a slowly sinking ship.
I taught my last class last night... and I chose the word "Endless" as my theme for class. I described the endless appreciation that I have for the path of yoga as a valuable investment of my time. I shared the endless love that I have for the people who show up to class with genuine enthusiasm. I reflected upon the things that I care deeply about.
A wise friend once told me, in regards to hiring good people, "You can't replace the give a fuck."
The same is true of pursuing a path of vocation.
Last night, I realized that I care deeply about teaching yoga. That despite the lack of external motivation and financial viability, I still cared deeply about each class.
I prepared last night's class in great detail... the sequence, the playlist, the theme. And as I reflected on this last class, it literally brought tears to my eyes to think about closing this chapter.
These last few months have been of immeasurable worth. They have reaffirmed the strength of my conviction to pursue the path I have chosen... to cultivate myself as a yoga teacher, to support students in connecting with practice and to pursue a vocation that I care deeply about.